spring fever

the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and our little seeds are about to sprout. i've cleaned everything i can get my hands on, and i want to ride bikes and sing songs and skate until i'm covered in bruises. i have left my shitty job to return to my old, comfy job, and i have a new title and a new vigor. everything's comin up roses.

everything sux

i looked at the wrong measuring spoon and used 3 tablespoons of baking powder instead of 3 teaspoons. the cupcakes turned out bitter in a weird way that made our tongues sort of tingle and i am so bummed. 12 cupcakes in the compost and a whole bunch of cream cheese frosting with nowhere to go. the Boy says its ok, but i know he's dying inside. i have a newfound respect for betty crocker.

cupcakes!

that's right, i'm making cupcakes. from scratch. without liners. i'm a dangerous lady. i deserve cupcakes. i gave notice at the job that has been eating my soul for the last three weeks, and though that may not seem like a long time, it was a very, very long time. it was more money than i've ever made in my life and for the entire 3 weeks i forgot who i was. i didn't have enough time to eat, let alone bake or knit or ride my bike or skateboard or take a walk holding hands with my boyfriend. and while some people might think that i have my priorities wrong, i know that i now have them very right.

red headed stepchild

today i cried in the bathroom at my work because i thought my boyfriend didn't love me any more. my cat is a mouth-breather with dandruff. if i could fast forward 6 months i would be right about to start school with a nice pile in the bank and a tan. i wouldn't have to run my ass off for some half legal catering company, and it wouldn't be raining EVERY FUCKING DAY anymore.
don't get me wrong, it's not all angsty sighs and black eyeliner over here. i could just use a break, that's all. this time next month i'll be watching the whales at point reyes, and this time a month after that i'll be celebrating three years with the man i love. tomorrow we are storming the City. tonight i am wallowing in self-pity.

note*before and after pics. drama=new hair

bleak

it has been raining for so long. yesterday there was sun for the first time in weeks, and today it is wet and cold and dark and grey. again. i'm trying not to let it get me down, but there's only so much a girl can do. today i asked my gym to take me back, which was both painful and motivating at the same time. i also ordered an ab wheel. yes, i am a slave to the internet. and by god i will have amazing abs when the sun shines again.

sunny california

yesterday myself, the Boy, and some friends drove up the pch to mt tamalpais for a beautiful afternoon on the mountain and some views. instead it was cold and rainy and covered in dense fog. it was absolutely perfect. after a few minutes in a parking lot surrounded by blank whiteness we decided to drive down the road a little more to stinson beach. i saw an old woman feeding seagulls, and dead jellyfish all down the beach. when it started to rain again we ran for the truck. today was sunny and clear.

fall

so, fall is here and the leaves have changed. everything smells good and it gets dark so early. we bought a truck and i'm feeling broke again. fall comes with a feeling of melancholy and i'm not ready for it to set in. i'm still riding high on that summer momentum, with the big move and the new job... which is now an apartment getting that lived in feeling and a job getting that move-on feeling. the only redeeming part of this job is having the coolest boss in the world. but that doesn't pay the bills (by a long shot) and it doesn't make me like anybody else there any more. coming home to my apartment and my boyfriend and my cat is the best part of my day. i think i'm getting old at 24.

prowling

i went to the store to buy raspberry jelly for thumbprint cookies, and found my town the best i've seen it yet. there was a street fair today, with screaming children and drunk father's and enormous hot dogs. but tonight it was quiet, with all of the booths shut up for the night, and that eerie carnival feel that i have coveted since reading Something Wicked This Way Comes. tomorrow i will go get a giant hot dog, and look at all of the wares that i can't and probably wouldn't afford. but tonight...